Everyone just needs some pure lovin. Including a cat. My cat is great and I see why people get cats. He is pretty fierce and all, but when he decides it is time for love... it is time for love. He cheers me up sometimes.

There was a note on the counter when I came home tonight. Paraphrasing, it said my grandma would be dead by tomorrow. I don't believe it. Not because of that i'm-a-teen-i-can't-understand-death stuff, but rather because i come from a family of fighters. I've been down this road before. Although I think she has to make it, I also know this time could be the last. I'm not really ready to say goodbye to her. My grandfather said to me the last time I visited them, "Make sure you say goodbye to her, this could be the last time you see her." That can't be. I'm also toying with the idea that she might be better off dead. I believe in an afterlife. That's from my religion and that this can't be all there is. She's in pain and I don't know if laying in a hospital room counts as living. I never got around to making her that cheer me up video.

*She's still alive, but for how long?

On a happy note..
From time to time I get this email we'll title "apricots on toast" and it makes me really happy.. but it always leaves me wanting to talk to the author. I read it at very late times so I couldn't call then. But the author is great.