I have to go back to school tomorrow. I have to go to work after math class. I have to start this pattern that will be my life for quite some time. But I don't want to. I have to.

Today I got in a writing mood. So I wrote. But I couldn't get more than three lines without stopping because I was afraid. I was afraid of ruining what could be by trying to find words that cannot hold the meaning of my thoughts. I wanted to write a few people some letters. I only wrote one.

Yesterday I saw a movie with ben, jake, and graham. Ben said he was embarassed to be seen with me and jake. Graham was having trouble with his eye. Tara was at the movie, but i didn't talk to her. We saw Aina afterwords outside and chatted with her for a bit. Before the movie started I saw Alison with a mob of scary people and I didn't get a spree. So after all this, I went home feeling alright. Becca was quite out of it when i talked to her.

"i think everyone just needs some tender loving care. that's what it's all about." someone else just figured things out.