hmmm.. yeah, I guess it is weird to have someone be officially over you. but it's not that bad.

Both alison and claire were not at school today. I missed them. But I hung out with marion and mary and the hippies.. and jean and lorin.. so it was alright, just different. Then I had a senior meeting. My counselor told me where I should go and I just nodded along.

I went to outback with ben and eva tonight. That was fun, except that I had to come home afterwards. It wasn't quite like old times, but close. I miss those two. And graham. I miss him a lot. I haven't talked to him in days.

You know, back in the day, I use to go to outback a lot. And I use to hang out with chris mann. With chris and eva and ben and graham. We use to have so much fun. We'd chill in his dorm room and play with all of his cool computer shit. He was hooked up. We'd go to movies. We'd sing and dance to bad techno. I use to have fun.

I still have fun, it's just different. I'm not always sure what's going on nowadays. My fun seems to be random. I don't know how to make it come or keep it here. I don't try hard enough.. or maybe too hard.

"If that was the end of the conversation.."

I miss people from my past, but only what I wished we could be, not what we really were.