Restless. Not quite okay with whatever it is of life.

"when i never show my want i dream to cry"

we both sort of wanted to see each other in a passive, unsure way.. but we didn't end up meeting. I don't know how close I am allowed to get.. but I think I might be wanting more than I think you want. yeah, things are weird with us.

damn.. when we sit here and talk forever, I miss you like mad. But I can't forget how i felt.. and how i couldn't be around you when we fell apart. and yes, I mean fell apart. it wasn't just an end. it was a rip or a crack and parts breaking down. falling apart.

while we were talking, i didn't mean to sound like it would never happen. You just asked for the bad side.. so I gave it to you.

I feel like I could freak out. And I could almost say that all I am looking for is someone to love me and hold me at night when I need it. But I don't know if that'd be true.

I really miss becca a lot. Like, I see her.. and then the circumstances have been weird the last few times.. and so I miss her the next day like mad. I don't know what to do.. and there is always something each weekend getting in the way of us meeting up. Maybe over winter break we can hang out a lot.. She is really great.

I've been nervous lately.. that feeling in my stomach, like my pulse is raising or my heart is beating heavy. I don't always know why it comes.